You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
