Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
