My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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