Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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