just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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