i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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