I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
