I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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