dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
