Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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