Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
where are you?
Hypothermia
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
