I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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