she woke up with a sticky ear
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
