HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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