look no pants
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
