I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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