also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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