Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
love makes seman taste better
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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