that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Come on in and take your pants off
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