check it out our google latitudes are spooning
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
