Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
