i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize