I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
