If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
