Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
