If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
