What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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