I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
