I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
