Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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