How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize