We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
