I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
