so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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