College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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