does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize