Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
