you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
