is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
