Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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