Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I could fuck to npr.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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