also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize