i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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