i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
