Banned from zoo.
Again?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
