Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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