So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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