I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
