All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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