i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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