She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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