So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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