i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
