would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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