thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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