Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
