I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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