This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
