Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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