my mouth tastes like poor choices
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
