A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
