planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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