Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize